Take it to the cleaners

Back on Jinli Street

“May day” to the Chinese isn’t just a phrase to express a dire situation nor is it a time to leave flowers on people’s doorsteps, it’s a full blown holiday. China recognizes May 1^st as international labor day by giving three days off. With a bit of spare time on our hands we decided to revisit Chengdu for the bigger holiday, Kassy’s birthday.

I can't imagine how tall he'd be if he stood up

The first day we binged on some (central) American delights, burritos, enchiladas, real coffee, etc. The next day, Kassy’s birthday, we awoke at five to go on a Chinese speaking tour of the big Buddha and Mt. Emei. The big Buddha statue is 233 feet tall, the largest carved Buddha in the world. Although we didn’t understand any of the geological or construction facts the Chinese tour guide was saying, the sight itself was enough to marvel at. Afterwards we traveled to Mount Emei, one of the four major mountains in China*. Many people will spend several days walking around to fully appreciate the mountain’s beauty. Due to time restraints we only had five hours. We took a cable car about half way up the mountain then walked down. The mountain was indeed beautiful and it was a pity we had such little time, although by this point of our trip fatigue was starting to kick in. One government official in our group who was literally tossing stacks on stacks of money around, paid to have two people carry him down.  

Mount Emei

For our last day, we returned to people’s park. A very friendly and detailed artist drew a wonderful portrait of us as we leisurely played a game of cribbage. I’ve been constantly gawked at for the last 8 months, but there's something about being drawn that really makes you feel self-conscious. I’ve never described myself as picturesque, but this artist made me look amazing.

The picture put Kassy in such a great mood that she decided to try the customary ear cleaning the park has to offer. The man had a key ring full of tools that looked as if they had been swiped from a dentist office. The cleaner may have been a magician for everything he pulled out of Kassy’s ear. He took great pleasure in showing me just how dirty her ears were, probably so we would say yes to an ear washing for 5 times the price. Although we declined the ear wash, it was performed anyway, it consisted of putting three drops of something into Kassy’s ears. Afterwards, the utensil in the ear salesman tried to get us to pay the exorbitant price of the ear washing. I shouted at him in Chinese that we said we didn’t want the ear washing and that we were only paying for the cleaning. This was the first confrontational remark I made in Chinese. The man took my money, told me to go more slowly (Chinese way of saying for have a good day), then smiled at me in a childlike awww you got me kind of way. I wasn’t mad at being targeted as a sap that could be exploited . On the contrary I was elated, I felt like a Chinese citizen instead of a blunder some foreigner. The experience was a reward for the hours upon hours of Chinese I’ve been studying, and reinforced my studying habits. After doing my time, I wish the man the best of luck in cleaning the ears and pockets of unlearned travelers. 

The last night we went out for burgers and pizza. We saved half the pizza for the next morning and went to the mall. Kassy went to check out a couple of store as I mindlessly played a Chinese game on her phone. After a half hour we were informed the mall was closing and Kassy ushered me out by the elbow as I continued to destroy monsters that were trying to eat my carrots. About 50 feet outside of the mall I remembered that I left our pizza in H&M. I tried to run back into the mall but was stopped by a guard. I didn’t think he would understand the importance of pizza and I also didn’t know the Chinese word for pizza (coincidentally it is pizza), so I told him I left my cell phone thinking that I could just run in and grab it. A group of passersby seeing a foreigner struggle came over to help. I tried to tell them I forget something as the guard was explaining I lost my phone. Soon they were asking what brand and color the phone so they could call the manager. I told them to forget about it and tried to walk away but the guard insisted upon escorting us there. When we got to the store, it was locked down. The guard started banging on the door to demand the manager open it up. The next part is all guesswork, but I think the manager couldn’t open it because the security system was already activated. This displeased the guard, and he continued to argue with her for the next couple minutes while I silently prayed to become invisible. With my face beet red, I told the guard that we could just come back tomorrow.

 

*Sichuan people believe their women are the most beautiful because they are born near such beautiful mountains. Other Chinese believe it is a name that makes a woman beautiful. One woman who had never met or seen Kassy before, was informed by my tutor that she was very beautiful. “Yes, I know that already” She replied rather matter of factly “she would have to be because her name is Kassy.” (As flawed as this logic seems, I have always found there to be a strong correlation between the name Elliot and high intelligence).