Kuta
The beach is trashy, the hawkers are aggressive, crime is potent, and the drug scene is the worst in Indonesia. I certainly don't like any of these true statements about Kuta, but oddly enough I enjoyed my time there.
The first day in Kuta we walked down to the beach to relax and watch the surfers. After liberally applying some sun screen I thought I'd lounge about and read for 20 minutes or so. Unfortunately, my pasty white skin is as delicate as camera film, it becomes irrevocably damaged when exposed to sunlight. Two hours later, I was doing the lobster man thing where I looked like an Easter egg that's top half had been dipped in red dye for five minutes. Ironically, this is the exact color scheme of the Indonesia flag.
The only reason why I liked Kuta so much can be summoned up in two words, Sky Garden. Sky Garden is a five level dance club/restaurant that operates in the most genius of ways. First off, they offer an all you can eat and drink buffet for five dollars, this is exceptional deal when beer any where costs $3. Adam and I consumed what any accountant would consider a net loss for the company each night we were in Kuta. Between the hours of 9-10pm, the establishment offers free cocktails to get people in the door. The club draws a good mix of foreigners and locals. Similar to Venezuela, Indonesians love to dance. Maybe they don't dance the same style, but they are also very open to dancing with anyone. One usually loses track of time, until it dawns on them that it's time to head home.
I realize I probably left you bewildered how this seemingly fiscally irresponsible enterprise has managed to remain a business. The business strategy became immediately apparent when I had to succumb to buying a small bottle of water (no fountains anywhere) for a whopping $4. Nevertheless, Adam and I always left being convinced that we got our money's worth, which is what makes Sky Garden such a good business.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
Ballin' time
Sanur
We landed mid-day in Bali, Indonesia, after a tiresome 24 hours of bussing and lay overs. Indonesia, is the fifth most populated country in the world. It is comprised of about 17,000+ different islands that are all south of the equator (yes the toilet water does spin the other way when you flush). Indonesia has the highest Muslim population. We stayed mostly on Bali island where the main religions are Hindu and surfing.
We exchanged some of our Renminbi (Chinese money) to Indonesia's Rupiah which has a comically high number of zeros following each denomination. 1 Us dollar = 12,000 rupiah. It takes about five minutes each time your at an ATM to figure out how much money you're trying to take out, especially when they don't have the commas after every three numbers. If you want to feel real good about your financial standing, you check out your balance inquiry which is given to you using exponential numbers. Upon leaving the airport, we paid the price for ignorance by paying double the fare for our taxi ride to our hostel in Sanur.
For the most part, Adam and I's first three months teaching in China were devoid of other foreigners. Our first interaction with the other guests at our hostel was unpleasant. 35% of tourists that visit Bali are Australian and they are hard to miss (they are remarkably tall) and even harder to ignore (they are hands down the loudest). Bali to Australians is what Cancun is to Americans, it's where they go to party, and in general, be obnoxious. Within ten minutes of walking into our hostel we had an Aussie overload. As we were waiting to check in, a gang of four hooligans (right out a Mad Max movie set) stood shirtless around the common room table, beating their chests at one another and bragging about various indecencies they've done on the trip at megaphone decibel levels. I won't condemn the entire nation/continent based off my skewed and narrow sample I've encountered, so I'll bite my tongue (maybe my thumb) and continue on.
Adam and I stashed our bags and got immediately down to the beach. The Sanur beach is beautiful. No waves for surfing, but clean white sandy shorelines. That night, I got a red snapper off a seaside grill that I'm still licking my lips over. The food can be incredibly cheap and super delicious if you eat a warung, the restaurants where most the locals eat. Beer on the other hand is a bit pricey seeing as how most of Indonesia is Muslim. Cost aside, it sure is nice to have a real beer (Chinese beer is a bit on the watered down side) while residing in a real Shoreview. After a few ice cold Bintangs (the local beer) and several congratulatory slaps on the back for discovering how to live the perfect life, we sprawled out on the beach and got our first real look at stars in five months.
The "hostile" guests ended up checking out the next day and the environment improved considerably. We meet two other English teachers from Wisconsin who just got done in South Korea. Together we watched the Pack fall once again to the 49ers, the only football game I watched of the season. Afterwards, we exchanged some of the drinking games and customs we had learned. The evening ended up going into extra innings as people from other countries joined in and added some of their games to the mix. The next day, we checked out and hopped (more of a crawled really) into a taxi, to Kuta to meet our friend Matt who fortunately had the foresight to bring a camera.
We landed mid-day in Bali, Indonesia, after a tiresome 24 hours of bussing and lay overs. Indonesia, is the fifth most populated country in the world. It is comprised of about 17,000+ different islands that are all south of the equator (yes the toilet water does spin the other way when you flush). Indonesia has the highest Muslim population. We stayed mostly on Bali island where the main religions are Hindu and surfing.
We exchanged some of our Renminbi (Chinese money) to Indonesia's Rupiah which has a comically high number of zeros following each denomination. 1 Us dollar = 12,000 rupiah. It takes about five minutes each time your at an ATM to figure out how much money you're trying to take out, especially when they don't have the commas after every three numbers. If you want to feel real good about your financial standing, you check out your balance inquiry which is given to you using exponential numbers. Upon leaving the airport, we paid the price for ignorance by paying double the fare for our taxi ride to our hostel in Sanur.
For the most part, Adam and I's first three months teaching in China were devoid of other foreigners. Our first interaction with the other guests at our hostel was unpleasant. 35% of tourists that visit Bali are Australian and they are hard to miss (they are remarkably tall) and even harder to ignore (they are hands down the loudest). Bali to Australians is what Cancun is to Americans, it's where they go to party, and in general, be obnoxious. Within ten minutes of walking into our hostel we had an Aussie overload. As we were waiting to check in, a gang of four hooligans (right out a Mad Max movie set) stood shirtless around the common room table, beating their chests at one another and bragging about various indecencies they've done on the trip at megaphone decibel levels. I won't condemn the entire nation/continent based off my skewed and narrow sample I've encountered, so I'll bite my tongue (maybe my thumb) and continue on.
Adam and I stashed our bags and got immediately down to the beach. The Sanur beach is beautiful. No waves for surfing, but clean white sandy shorelines. That night, I got a red snapper off a seaside grill that I'm still licking my lips over. The food can be incredibly cheap and super delicious if you eat a warung, the restaurants where most the locals eat. Beer on the other hand is a bit pricey seeing as how most of Indonesia is Muslim. Cost aside, it sure is nice to have a real beer (Chinese beer is a bit on the watered down side) while residing in a real Shoreview. After a few ice cold Bintangs (the local beer) and several congratulatory slaps on the back for discovering how to live the perfect life, we sprawled out on the beach and got our first real look at stars in five months.
The "hostile" guests ended up checking out the next day and the environment improved considerably. We meet two other English teachers from Wisconsin who just got done in South Korea. Together we watched the Pack fall once again to the 49ers, the only football game I watched of the season. Afterwards, we exchanged some of the drinking games and customs we had learned. The evening ended up going into extra innings as people from other countries joined in and added some of their games to the mix. The next day, we checked out and hopped (more of a crawled really) into a taxi, to Kuta to meet our friend Matt who fortunately had the foresight to bring a camera.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Pro/Conlogue
After 49 days of travel we've managed to make it back to our home away from home. The trip was wonderful, but Adam and I can both say we are immensely glad to be off the "banana cake trail" and back in China. Before I begin, I'll apologize for the lack of pictures. Kassy was kind enough to leave her digital camera behind last year which I of course forgot to bring on the trip. It was probably for the best seeing as how it would have inevitably been lost. When you're as forgetful as I am, you learn not to become to attached to anything. Coming out of the trip, I lost just about everything except weight and my passport (this is arguably my greatest achievement to this day). If the U.S. government ever comes up with a way to get a passport tattoo, I would would pay an exorbitant fee. I had taken about thirty photos of the trip with my phone before it was stolen in Vietnam. The picture quality on the phone was comparable to a disposable camera in an hookah den, so it's no loss really. I'll probably just post some photos of places we went from google images and say that the people in the background are us.
This trip was quite different than the year before. For one thing, I was mostly traveling with just Adam which had its pros and cons. First of all, there wasn't room for much social loafing. Furthermore, you meet a lot more people when you're traveling in pairs. For whatever reason, in my sophomore year in college, I got hooked on this idea of wanting to go to Finland (which for those of you who aren't geography majors, isn't actually part of Scandinavia) for a semester. I heartily pursued it until I got to the paperwork process. I am seriously regretting my lack of perseverance. I meet a dozen or so Fins on the trip and in my experience they are the salt of the earth. I had quite the opposite experience with the Australians.
The banana cake trail that I mentioned above refers to the most common destinations in southeast Asia for young back packers. One of the most common reasons for travel is self growth and discovery. I strongly believe that traveling to a new country can have a profound effect on personal growth, however, achieving personal growth requires more than just traveling there. Many times the popular thing to do in these destinations is to go snap a bunch of pictures of all the main spots during the day, buy some local clothes to wear, then end the night by going to some foreigner bar to play beer pong and compare the number of stamps that are in ones passport.The cultural experience/self discovery is nice in theory but can be a bit disillusioned, kind of like hippie communes in the 60's. I realize that it's a little high and mighty of me to declare what a cultural experience is for somewhere else, and maybe that's wrong. I can say that the culture in a lot of these places have morphed to fit the comforts of the traveler when it should be the other way around. It isn't to say that these destinations aren't worth visiting, or that there are no foreigners there worth meeting.There wasn't a single spot we regretted visiting, and we meet at least one great person in every place we went.
Another difference about traveling small, is that it is easier to travel around. Getting two people to decide on what to do and is remarkably easier than five. Adam and I didn't spend more than four days at any one spot, which means we got to see a lot more.The downside of traveling with fewer people is that your going to pay more. Bookings for anything become cheaper the more people you have, and there's a lot of strength in numbers when it comes to haggling a taxi, especially in the end when you divide the cost.
Ok that's it for now, I'm planning on writing about each place individually and I'll try to post a blog about once every four days.
This trip was quite different than the year before. For one thing, I was mostly traveling with just Adam which had its pros and cons. First of all, there wasn't room for much social loafing. Furthermore, you meet a lot more people when you're traveling in pairs. For whatever reason, in my sophomore year in college, I got hooked on this idea of wanting to go to Finland (which for those of you who aren't geography majors, isn't actually part of Scandinavia) for a semester. I heartily pursued it until I got to the paperwork process. I am seriously regretting my lack of perseverance. I meet a dozen or so Fins on the trip and in my experience they are the salt of the earth. I had quite the opposite experience with the Australians.
The banana cake trail that I mentioned above refers to the most common destinations in southeast Asia for young back packers. One of the most common reasons for travel is self growth and discovery. I strongly believe that traveling to a new country can have a profound effect on personal growth, however, achieving personal growth requires more than just traveling there. Many times the popular thing to do in these destinations is to go snap a bunch of pictures of all the main spots during the day, buy some local clothes to wear, then end the night by going to some foreigner bar to play beer pong and compare the number of stamps that are in ones passport.The cultural experience/self discovery is nice in theory but can be a bit disillusioned, kind of like hippie communes in the 60's. I realize that it's a little high and mighty of me to declare what a cultural experience is for somewhere else, and maybe that's wrong. I can say that the culture in a lot of these places have morphed to fit the comforts of the traveler when it should be the other way around. It isn't to say that these destinations aren't worth visiting, or that there are no foreigners there worth meeting.There wasn't a single spot we regretted visiting, and we meet at least one great person in every place we went.
Another difference about traveling small, is that it is easier to travel around. Getting two people to decide on what to do and is remarkably easier than five. Adam and I didn't spend more than four days at any one spot, which means we got to see a lot more.The downside of traveling with fewer people is that your going to pay more. Bookings for anything become cheaper the more people you have, and there's a lot of strength in numbers when it comes to haggling a taxi, especially in the end when you divide the cost.
Ok that's it for now, I'm planning on writing about each place individually and I'll try to post a blog about once every four days.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
FALLing back into China
Long time, no blog. Sorry everyone for the complete lack of communication. I'd like to blame it on the busier school semester or the continual malfunctions of my computer, but it really comes down to me not being overly motivated to write. Tis the season of giving though, so I'll wrap up the rest of 2013 and give to you the present.
It's been a strange last half year. My life has undergone considerable changes, but my daily routines have never been so consistent.This year, I returned back to Rong Chang in September with my long time friend and former college room mate Adam Van Atta. So far, its been awesome. My spoken Chinese has made a great leap forward (in a good way) as well as my teaching abilities.
September:
It took a while for my stomach to readjust to the abundance of oil used in Chinese cooking, but after a weeks worth of welcome back feasts, it has returned to its iron clad ways. Our classes started before the Chinese National Holiday this year, so September wasn't as much as idle as the year before. Once again I had the students select English names, my favorites were, Tryandomyr (Try-en-doe-mirror)and Shmely. At the end of the month we went to Chong Qing for a gathering of all foreign teachers. There I had an opportunity to meet the mayor of Chong Qing, but the allure of the peking duck and open wine bar were much more appealing. Later that night,we stumbled across a moderately famous European band called the "Red Hot Chili Pipers" (they play cover songs on bag pipes). There's more to the story, but the way everyone remembers it is entirely different.
October:
Besides sleeping, I spend most my time in Adam's apartment. I have my own, but it's colder, doesn't have wifi, or as nice of bathroom. In October, our apartment seemed like the model home from Arrested Development. The apartments are very spacious and accommodating, but the pig's house that was built of straw might have more structural reliability. If you're familiar with Adam or I's living habits, you can probably envision the state of our apartment. To say we were living in a rat's nest would have be a fit metaphor until it became quite literal when a rat pack (not the musical group)took up lodging. For several weeks these ratatas were able to live like kings (watch any theatrical performance of the Nutcracker for an accurate description of how they dress and their size). Luckily, the primal hunter instinct in Adam came out one night and he was able to kill one by harpooning it with the end of an umbrella.
November:
My students this semester had a much higher attendance rate in comparison to last year .Although the class sizes never really stayed consistent. This turned into a huge problem when we were asked to have our students put on an English performance. For the performance Adam and I had our students break into groups to create parodies of famous fairy tales. Our instructions were to change the stories to make them fit modern day China. Group skits are very hard to choreograph when on average only two of the six students in a group come to class. Upon learning that the entire English faculty would be in attendance at the performance it was no more Mr. nice teacher. Drastic times, call for drastic measures so I flat out lied by telling the students that if this performance didn't work, Adam and I would be sent back home before Christmas.The entire event ran perfectly parallel to the book, "the Worst Christmas Pageant Ever" where everyone was expecting an inevitable failure, but somehow at the last minute, through a possible divine intervention, everything turned out exceedingly well. Unbeknownst to us beforehand, all the students got paid after performance, and Adam and I also got a bonus for putting it on. We were riding a remarkable high that night from the feeling of accomplish, the relief of it all being over, and the excessive sugar from the 7 or 8 juices each group demanded to buy us with their prize money.
December:
The insufferable cold which I really harped about last year has thankfully come late. It's gotten much colder this last week but nothing to complain about since I can still wiggle my toes.The Chinese hate being exposed in unflattering journalism, which seems to be the only kind of reporting one finds about China.China isn't perfect, but probably what you read/hear about it, doesn't paint a complete picture.That being said, I am hesitant to write about a highly memorable event that happened early this month in fear of giving you the wrong impression of Chinese people.
One night, Adam, our friend He Kai (Hank), and I decided to check out a new bar in town. Our usual bar, Heaven and Hell, has been having some bizarre business hours, and was closed that night. The first hour was a blast. Everyone in the bar was buying us drinks and being overly friendly. Later on, when most the people had left, there was a guy still sitting at our table lamenting some sad Chinese song into a microphone. Suddenly a guy burst through the door and grabbed the guy with the microphone's hair and began dragging him out of the bar. Now I had no idea behind the cause of his vendetta, maybe he broke omerta or was a heinous criminal that didn't receive proper justice, but by universal principle, you don't pull a man by the hair (unless your a professional wrestler in the entertainment business).I sprang up from my chair before I could think about whether or not I should meddle I'm someone else's affairs.Turns out there was another guy outside the bar, and they both started kicking the man. Before the inhibitors of the bystander effect could sink in, I charged the scene and pushed the first guy off then yanked the second guy away while he was in the midst of aiming a dirty kick at the hapless man. It sounds much more heroic then it actually was. The guys were the stereotypical 5 foot nothing Asian. Anyhow the second guy turned to give me a punch, saw that I was a foreigner then decided not to.I don't know if there is such a thing as a hate crime in China, but punching a foreigner I imagine, would be considered incredibly taboo.The guy sluffed off like a dejected Charlie Brown. It was probably one of the best deeds I've ever done, but it was probably for naught. For the beaten man, idiotically returned back to the bar to finish singing his sad song. The manager of the bar thanked me profusely then informed us we needed to buy 7 more beers to meet the 168 yuan minimum. We were not happy with this arrangement so we took the seven beers for the road and got the hell out of dodge.
I'd just like to emphasis, that this was an anomaly and the first time I have witnessed a violent altercation of any kind while in China.
Last week, we were invited into the inner circle of Rong Chang's glitterati.We were wined and dined with some government officials at the nicest hotel I've ever stepped foot in.The hotel had an Olympic size heated swimming pool. I'm not a very strong swimmer, my usual goal while I'm in the water is just to keep afloat. While we were in the pool, Adam and I kept getting challenged by 40+ year old men to race the length of the pool. I'm pretty sure I drank the recommended amount of water a person should have each day in those 15 minutes racing. The hotel also has a health spa with ever imaginable amenity and a full gym. Needless to say, it is no place Adam and I belong, but somehow we are now club card carrying members. Unfortunately, it's too far away to frequently visit, but we certainly will be returning.
Last year, our school built a jumbotron that I thought was completely asinine. This years construction project is tenfold the absurdity. I don't know who came up with the design or who signed off on it,but right now our school is currently building an 80-foot fake mountain made of chicken wire and plaster.
If you are reading this, I am sure that at one point, you have done some sort of unrecpricated favor for me. Maybe I've crashed at your house, had my way with your fridge, had you drive me way out of your way, damaged borrowed property, etc. There's even a chance that I may even be wearing a article of your clothing right now. I've been accurately described as a friend with no benefits. Well, I'm now at a point in my life where I'd love to repay all of you. If any of you have the time or means to make it out to China I can promise to make it worth your while. I can even help out with some of the financial burdens of airfare. I don't know what the future holds for me yet, but I'd love an opportunity to play host (for once in my life) while I can here in China.
Tomorrow, we will embark upon another long journey. Our ridiculous 70 day paid vacation will be spent in Bali, Vietnam, and Thailand. I'll try to blog about these IF we make it back.
It's been a strange last half year. My life has undergone considerable changes, but my daily routines have never been so consistent.This year, I returned back to Rong Chang in September with my long time friend and former college room mate Adam Van Atta. So far, its been awesome. My spoken Chinese has made a great leap forward (in a good way) as well as my teaching abilities.
September:
It took a while for my stomach to readjust to the abundance of oil used in Chinese cooking, but after a weeks worth of welcome back feasts, it has returned to its iron clad ways. Our classes started before the Chinese National Holiday this year, so September wasn't as much as idle as the year before. Once again I had the students select English names, my favorites were, Tryandomyr (Try-en-doe-mirror)and Shmely. At the end of the month we went to Chong Qing for a gathering of all foreign teachers. There I had an opportunity to meet the mayor of Chong Qing, but the allure of the peking duck and open wine bar were much more appealing. Later that night,we stumbled across a moderately famous European band called the "Red Hot Chili Pipers" (they play cover songs on bag pipes). There's more to the story, but the way everyone remembers it is entirely different.
October:
Besides sleeping, I spend most my time in Adam's apartment. I have my own, but it's colder, doesn't have wifi, or as nice of bathroom. In October, our apartment seemed like the model home from Arrested Development. The apartments are very spacious and accommodating, but the pig's house that was built of straw might have more structural reliability. If you're familiar with Adam or I's living habits, you can probably envision the state of our apartment. To say we were living in a rat's nest would have be a fit metaphor until it became quite literal when a rat pack (not the musical group)took up lodging. For several weeks these ratatas were able to live like kings (watch any theatrical performance of the Nutcracker for an accurate description of how they dress and their size). Luckily, the primal hunter instinct in Adam came out one night and he was able to kill one by harpooning it with the end of an umbrella.
November:
My students this semester had a much higher attendance rate in comparison to last year .Although the class sizes never really stayed consistent. This turned into a huge problem when we were asked to have our students put on an English performance. For the performance Adam and I had our students break into groups to create parodies of famous fairy tales. Our instructions were to change the stories to make them fit modern day China. Group skits are very hard to choreograph when on average only two of the six students in a group come to class. Upon learning that the entire English faculty would be in attendance at the performance it was no more Mr. nice teacher. Drastic times, call for drastic measures so I flat out lied by telling the students that if this performance didn't work, Adam and I would be sent back home before Christmas.The entire event ran perfectly parallel to the book, "the Worst Christmas Pageant Ever" where everyone was expecting an inevitable failure, but somehow at the last minute, through a possible divine intervention, everything turned out exceedingly well. Unbeknownst to us beforehand, all the students got paid after performance, and Adam and I also got a bonus for putting it on. We were riding a remarkable high that night from the feeling of accomplish, the relief of it all being over, and the excessive sugar from the 7 or 8 juices each group demanded to buy us with their prize money.
December:
The insufferable cold which I really harped about last year has thankfully come late. It's gotten much colder this last week but nothing to complain about since I can still wiggle my toes.The Chinese hate being exposed in unflattering journalism, which seems to be the only kind of reporting one finds about China.China isn't perfect, but probably what you read/hear about it, doesn't paint a complete picture.That being said, I am hesitant to write about a highly memorable event that happened early this month in fear of giving you the wrong impression of Chinese people.
One night, Adam, our friend He Kai (Hank), and I decided to check out a new bar in town. Our usual bar, Heaven and Hell, has been having some bizarre business hours, and was closed that night. The first hour was a blast. Everyone in the bar was buying us drinks and being overly friendly. Later on, when most the people had left, there was a guy still sitting at our table lamenting some sad Chinese song into a microphone. Suddenly a guy burst through the door and grabbed the guy with the microphone's hair and began dragging him out of the bar. Now I had no idea behind the cause of his vendetta, maybe he broke omerta or was a heinous criminal that didn't receive proper justice, but by universal principle, you don't pull a man by the hair (unless your a professional wrestler in the entertainment business).I sprang up from my chair before I could think about whether or not I should meddle I'm someone else's affairs.Turns out there was another guy outside the bar, and they both started kicking the man. Before the inhibitors of the bystander effect could sink in, I charged the scene and pushed the first guy off then yanked the second guy away while he was in the midst of aiming a dirty kick at the hapless man. It sounds much more heroic then it actually was. The guys were the stereotypical 5 foot nothing Asian. Anyhow the second guy turned to give me a punch, saw that I was a foreigner then decided not to.I don't know if there is such a thing as a hate crime in China, but punching a foreigner I imagine, would be considered incredibly taboo.The guy sluffed off like a dejected Charlie Brown. It was probably one of the best deeds I've ever done, but it was probably for naught. For the beaten man, idiotically returned back to the bar to finish singing his sad song. The manager of the bar thanked me profusely then informed us we needed to buy 7 more beers to meet the 168 yuan minimum. We were not happy with this arrangement so we took the seven beers for the road and got the hell out of dodge.
I'd just like to emphasis, that this was an anomaly and the first time I have witnessed a violent altercation of any kind while in China.
Last week, we were invited into the inner circle of Rong Chang's glitterati.We were wined and dined with some government officials at the nicest hotel I've ever stepped foot in.The hotel had an Olympic size heated swimming pool. I'm not a very strong swimmer, my usual goal while I'm in the water is just to keep afloat. While we were in the pool, Adam and I kept getting challenged by 40+ year old men to race the length of the pool. I'm pretty sure I drank the recommended amount of water a person should have each day in those 15 minutes racing. The hotel also has a health spa with ever imaginable amenity and a full gym. Needless to say, it is no place Adam and I belong, but somehow we are now club card carrying members. Unfortunately, it's too far away to frequently visit, but we certainly will be returning.
Last year, our school built a jumbotron that I thought was completely asinine. This years construction project is tenfold the absurdity. I don't know who came up with the design or who signed off on it,but right now our school is currently building an 80-foot fake mountain made of chicken wire and plaster.
If you are reading this, I am sure that at one point, you have done some sort of unrecpricated favor for me. Maybe I've crashed at your house, had my way with your fridge, had you drive me way out of your way, damaged borrowed property, etc. There's even a chance that I may even be wearing a article of your clothing right now. I've been accurately described as a friend with no benefits. Well, I'm now at a point in my life where I'd love to repay all of you. If any of you have the time or means to make it out to China I can promise to make it worth your while. I can even help out with some of the financial burdens of airfare. I don't know what the future holds for me yet, but I'd love an opportunity to play host (for once in my life) while I can here in China.
Tomorrow, we will embark upon another long journey. Our ridiculous 70 day paid vacation will be spent in Bali, Vietnam, and Thailand. I'll try to blog about these IF we make it back.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
The King and I
About a week ago we had a faculty tennis tournament. I was paired up
with Doctor Wang, a professor in animal research. Due to a communicative break
down, we got slaughtered in our first match. Mid-way through the second match,
down 4 games to 1, we really started to mesh. At first playing doubles was
really unfamiliar, but Mr. Wang playing the backcourt proved to be the perfect
antidote for my defunct backhand. I revolutionized the game by starting
to charge the net and spiking the ball as hard as I could. Mr. Wang had the
perfect lob shot to the back of the court to set it up. Soon we started rolling
the competition. Our last match was pretty even. We played against one of the
veteran teachers and Mr. Zhou, the president of the school. I almost played
myself out of a job next year going maliciously after the weaker link Mr. Zhou.
I might have gone over the top (my hat was turned backwards and I was shouting
Geronimo each time I attacked the net), but we managed to win on the
tiebreaker. The tournament format was a bit confounding, after going 4-1 we
received fifth place. Not that we had much of a shot of defeating the 1st place team led by
Professor Yu, the tennis instructor, but we did beat the team that got third
place. Regardless, it was a really fun tournament and as an added bonus Mr.
Wang and I both won 20 dollars for our performance.
I went out to explore a bit of the countryside with Henry and a couple
of his friends. After a country-style lunch, we went fishing (if you can call
it that) in a domesticated pond. If you play the level of the refraction and
the fact that bullets can’t go very far once they hit water, their method of
fishing is even easier than shooting fish in barrel. We decided to have a
fishing competition where the team that caught fewer fish would have to buy
dinner. While we were sitting there hauling fish in at 5-minute intervals, the
pond owner came out to stake sun umbrellas over us and feed the fish, in order
to make our task even easier. During our two hours of fishing, I had an extensive
naughty words tutorial. Bobo, the English name I gave to one of Henry’s friend,
had a particular affinity for learning English cuss words. By the end of
fishing, he sounded very similar to the turrets guy on YouTube. The fish was
grilled and barbequed at Henry’s restaurant and paid for by Bobo’s team that
only caught 9 fish.
 |
| The fish dish, what a catch(er) |
 |
| With my friend Henry |
 |
| The goblets of fire |
As a reward for being P90x (America’s number 1 home workout video)
graduates we went to go get massages with Henry. Upon hearing that I had
sensitive feet, Henry gleefully ordered us for 45 minutes foot rubs as well. At
the top of an endless list of my flaws as a human being is probably my foot
odor condition.* According to Henry, the woman who was attempting to massage my
feet as I wiggled and squirmed, claimed I have very unusual feet. The way I heard
it, she said my feet stunk. Henry claims stink and stunk are the same words I
just didn’t understand the context, which is entirely possible, although his
translations tend to be based upon what causes the most amount of comedy/personal
amusement. The foot massage was a volley between being tickled pink and
tortured red (the masseuse would dig her knuckles into pressure points in the
heel) all to the extreme delight of Henry. At the end, they performed a hot
cupping to remove all the bad blood in our backs. I found the feeling to be
similar to putting a vacuum hose up to your skin, but with a warming sensation.
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| The result of those blood suckers |
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| The new constructed studio set |
I recently learned that they are filming a new TV series in Lu Kong,
the ancient town right next us. This weekend, we traveled to Lu Kong with our
boss and saw a massive studio set that wasn’t there three months ago. People
crowded all around trying to catch a glimpse of the actors performing. For the
first time ever we weren’t the persons of interest. That lasted for about 3
minutes until the actors spotted us and ran over to take pictures.
This will be my last blog. Tomorrow we will leave to explore China’s
southern beauties, Shangri la, Lijiang, and Dali for a week. We will return the
same day that Kassy’s sister gets in. I imagine we will have a ruckus last 8
days in Rong Chang before heading to Bei Jing for five days. I have had an
incredible year and am very much look forward to returning in September.
Unfortunately, Kassy will remain in the United States seeking to obtain her
master’s degree. To end on a good note (one much better than me singing), my
good friend Adam Van Atta will joining me next year as I continue to toil with
the Chinese language.
*It’s
always sounds disgusting to admit you have foot fungus; I am very appreciative
who ever decided to call it athlete’s foot. “A rose by any other name wouldn’t
smell as sweet,” but a foot fungus that’s called athlete’s foot makes me feel
much better. I can almost use it as a reasonable defense mechanism whenever I
take off my shoes, well I’m sorry everyone I’m athlete… what do you expect.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Wok It Out
This semester I have fallen more into a routine, although sometimes there are drastic fluctuations. Usually I’ll go out 2-3 times a week for
dinner with friends or employers. For some reason there was one random week
were I was invited out for dinner every night. One day I regrettably told my
students to pick where we ate. They chose hot pot, which is the same thing I had
earlier that day for lunch. Eating hot pot is the equivalent of drinking about
a pint of oil. A hot pot enthusiast knows it is enough to only eat it once a
week. There isn’t a chapter in the novel “What’s Your Poo Telling You” to
describe my situation the following day. The eight-day bender took a drastic toll on my body.
During that span I seemed to have aged considerably. The party fiend that I once considered myself to be has morphed into an old man whose ideal Friday night
consists of drinking peanut milk and reading historical fiction.
One Chinese belief that I greatly enjoy, is that garlic not only wards
of vampires, but also prevents bird flu. With the H1N1 scare taking place,
garlic has become much more prevalent in all dishes. Last night I had a dish
that was just cooked garlic clovers. I now put garlic in everything, partially
because I learned a really fun trick of how to dice it. Kassy and I, after
several behind the stove lessons have managed to become adequate cooks. Our
range is very narrow, but there are 5 to 6 dishes that we can competently
prepare.
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| Our two year wedding anniversary meal. |
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| Luo Bo Gu Lao Rou, the new favorite |
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| Homemade hot pot, |
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| Good lookin' is cookin' |
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| Homemade dumpling party with the old owners of Heaven and Hell |
In addition to more work and studying, there has been a real spike in
my physical activity. I have been playing basketball pretty frequently and have
developed a reputation as the foreigner who plays defense (something that isn’t
really taught in China since they all learn basketball by watching NBA). To
call a Chinese game of basketball, scrappy, doesn’t scratch the surface.
Players often lower their heads and barrel through the lane as if they are playing a
game a red rover. Last month I played a game where I was getting mopped around
because I wasn’t wearing the proper foot attire. I regrettably played the next
five games without shoes. Several weeks later the bottom of my feet looked like
those giant jawbreakers after 45,000 licks from all the layers of worn away
skin.
You
may have deducted from my erratic blogging frequency and writing quality, that
I lack consistency. The same is true for most sports. Sometimes on the basketball court I completely understand
the logistics of basketball, arc, form, bounce pass, etc. and other times I get
passed the ball and it feels like I’m holding this Chinese fruit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian,
thinking what the hell do I with this. I was having one of those playing better
than I actually am kind of days when I met Henry. Now Henry and I didn’t get
off to the best start, he walked up to me and said "you may be beautiful but
that doesn’t mean you can play basketball." After his team went up a couple of
baskets, he informed me my rebounding skills wouldn’t be of any use because his
friend doesn’t miss. For the next hour I ferociously played an independent game
called this guy never touches the ball. After the game he offered to take me to
his restaurant, I reluctantly agreed. Over one the best meals I’ve had here in
China, I learned he was attempting to trash talk because that’s what they do in
the NBA.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Take it to the cleaners
Back on Jinli Street “May day” to the Chinese isn’t just a phrase to express a dire situation nor is it a time to leave flowers on people’s doorsteps, it’s a full blown holiday. China recognizes May 1st as international labor day by giving three days off. With a bit of spare time on our hands we decided to revisit Chengdu for the bigger holiday, Kassy’s birthday.
I can't imagine how tall he'd be if he stood up The first day we binged on some (central) American delights, burritos, enchiladas, real coffee, etc. The next day, Kassy’s birthday, we awoke at five to go on a Chinese speaking tour of the big Buddha and Mt. Emei. The big Buddha statue is 233 feet tall, the largest carved Buddha in the world. Although we didn’t understand any of the geological or construction facts the Chinese tour guide was saying, the sight itself was enough to marvel at. Afterwards we traveled to Mount Emei, one of the four major mountains in China*. Many people will spend several days walking around to fully appreciate the mountain’s beauty. Due to time restraints we only had five hours. We took a cable car about half way up the mountain then walked down. The mountain was indeed beautiful and it was a pity we had such little time, although by this point of our trip fatigue was starting to kick in. One government official in our group who was literally tossing stacks on stacks of money around, paid to have two people carry him down.
Mount Emei For our last day, we returned to people’s park. A very friendly and detailed artist drew a wonderful portrait of us as we leisurely played a game of cribbage. I’ve been constantly gawked at for the last 8 months, but there's something about being drawn that really makes you feel self-conscious. I’ve never described myself as picturesque, but this artist made me look amazing.
The picture put Kassy in such a great mood that she decided to try the customary ear cleaning the park has to offer. The man had a key ring full of tools that looked as if they had been swiped from a dentist office. The cleaner may have been a magician for everything he pulled out of Kassy’s ear. He took great pleasure in showing me just how dirty her ears were, probably so we would say yes to an ear washing for 5 times the price. Although we declined the ear wash, it was performed anyway, it consisted of putting three drops of something into Kassy’s ears. Afterwards, the utensil in the ear salesman tried to get us to pay the exorbitant price of the ear washing. I shouted at him in Chinese that we said we didn’t want the ear washing and that we were only paying for the cleaning. This was the first confrontational remark I made in Chinese. The man took my money, told me to go more slowly (Chinese way of saying for have a good day), then smiled at me in a childlike awww you got me kind of way. I wasn’t mad at being targeted as a sap that could be exploited . On the contrary I was elated, I felt like a Chinese citizen instead of a blunder some foreigner. The experience was a reward for the hours upon hours of Chinese I’ve been studying, and reinforced my studying habits. After doing my time, I wish the man the best of luck in cleaning the ears and pockets of unlearned travelers.The last night we went out for burgers and pizza. We saved half the pizza for the next morning and went to the mall. Kassy went to check out a couple of store as I mindlessly played a Chinese game on her phone. After a half hour we were informed the mall was closing and Kassy ushered me out by the elbow as I continued to destroy monsters that were trying to eat my carrots. About 50 feet outside of the mall I remembered that I left our pizza in H&M. I tried to run back into the mall but was stopped by a guard. I didn’t think he would understand the importance of pizza and I also didn’t know the Chinese word for pizza (coincidentally it is pizza), so I told him I left my cell phone thinking that I could just run in and grab it. A group of passersby seeing a foreigner struggle came over to help. I tried to tell them I forget something as the guard was explaining I lost my phone. Soon they were asking what brand and color the phone so they could call the manager. I told them to forget about it and tried to walk away but the guard insisted upon escorting us there. When we got to the store, it was locked down. The guard started banging on the door to demand the manager open it up. The next part is all guesswork, but I think the manager couldn’t open it because the security system was already activated. This displeased the guard, and he continued to argue with her for the next couple minutes while I silently prayed to become invisible. With my face beet red, I told the guard that we could just come back tomorrow.
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