Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Garden of Eatin

Kuta
The beach is trashy, the hawkers are aggressive, crime is potent, and the drug scene is the worst in Indonesia. I certainly don't like any of these true statements about Kuta, but oddly enough I enjoyed my time there.
The first day in Kuta we walked down to the beach to relax and watch the surfers. After liberally applying some sun screen I thought I'd lounge about and read for 20 minutes or so. Unfortunately, my pasty white skin is as delicate as camera film, it becomes irrevocably damaged when exposed to sunlight. Two hours later, I was doing the lobster man thing where I looked like an Easter egg that's top half had been dipped in red dye for five minutes. Ironically, this is the exact color scheme of the Indonesia flag.
The only reason why I liked Kuta so much can be summoned up in two words, Sky Garden. Sky Garden is a five level dance club/restaurant that operates in the most genius of ways. First off, they offer an all you can eat and drink buffet for five dollars, this is exceptional deal when beer any where costs $3. Adam and I consumed what any accountant would consider a net loss for the company each night we were in Kuta. Between the hours of 9-10pm, the establishment offers free cocktails to get people in the door. The club draws a good mix of foreigners and locals. Similar to Venezuela, Indonesians love to dance. Maybe they don't dance the same style, but they are also very open to dancing with anyone. One usually loses track of time, until it dawns on them that it's time to head home.
I realize I probably left you bewildered how this seemingly fiscally irresponsible enterprise has managed to remain a business. The business strategy became immediately apparent when I had to succumb to buying a small bottle of water (no fountains anywhere) for a whopping $4. Nevertheless, Adam and I always left being convinced that we got our money's worth, which is what makes Sky Garden such a good business.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Ballin' time

Sanur
We landed mid-day in Bali, Indonesia, after a tiresome 24 hours of bussing and lay overs. Indonesia, is the fifth most populated country in the world. It is comprised of about 17,000+ different islands that are all south of the equator (yes the toilet water does spin the other way when you flush). Indonesia has the highest Muslim population. We stayed mostly on Bali island where the main religions are Hindu and surfing.
We exchanged some of our Renminbi (Chinese money) to Indonesia's Rupiah which has a comically high number of zeros following each denomination. 1 Us dollar = 12,000 rupiah. It takes about five minutes each time your at an ATM to figure out how much money you're trying to take out, especially when they don't have the commas after every three numbers. If you want to feel real good about your financial standing, you check out your balance inquiry which is given to you using exponential numbers. Upon leaving the airport, we paid the price for ignorance by paying double the fare for our taxi ride to our hostel in Sanur.
For the most part, Adam and I's first three months teaching in China were devoid of other foreigners. Our first interaction with the other guests at our hostel was unpleasant. 35% of tourists that visit Bali are Australian and they are hard to miss (they are remarkably tall) and even harder to ignore (they are hands down the loudest). Bali to Australians is what Cancun is to Americans, it's where they go to party, and in general, be obnoxious. Within ten minutes of walking into our hostel we had an Aussie overload. As we were waiting to check in, a gang of four hooligans (right out a Mad Max movie set) stood shirtless around the common room table, beating their chests at one another and bragging about various indecencies they've done on the trip at megaphone decibel levels. I won't condemn the entire nation/continent based off my skewed and narrow sample I've encountered, so I'll bite my tongue (maybe my thumb) and continue on.
Adam and I stashed our bags and got immediately down to the beach. The Sanur beach is beautiful. No waves for surfing, but clean white sandy shorelines. That night, I got a red snapper off a seaside grill that I'm still licking my lips over. The food can be incredibly cheap and super delicious if you eat a warung, the restaurants where most the locals eat. Beer on the other hand is a bit pricey seeing as how most of Indonesia is Muslim. Cost aside, it sure is nice to have a real beer (Chinese beer is a bit on the watered down side) while residing in a real Shoreview. After a few ice cold Bintangs (the local beer) and several congratulatory slaps on the back for discovering how to live the perfect life, we sprawled out on the beach and got our first real look at stars in five months.
The "hostile" guests ended up checking out the next day and the environment improved considerably. We meet two other English teachers from Wisconsin who just got done in South Korea. Together we watched the Pack fall once again to the 49ers, the only football game I watched of the season. Afterwards, we exchanged some of the drinking games and customs we had learned. The evening ended up going into extra innings as people from other countries joined in and added some of their games to the mix. The next day, we checked out and hopped (more of a crawled really) into a taxi, to Kuta to meet our friend Matt who fortunately had the foresight to bring a camera.   

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Pro/Conlogue

After 49 days of travel we've managed to make it back to our home away from home. The trip was wonderful, but Adam and I can both say we are immensely glad to be off the "banana cake trail" and back in China. Before I begin, I'll apologize for the lack of pictures. Kassy was kind enough to leave her digital camera behind last year which I of course forgot to bring on the trip. It was probably for the best seeing as how it would have inevitably been lost. When you're as forgetful as I am, you learn not to become to attached to anything. Coming out of the trip, I lost just about everything except weight and my passport (this is arguably my greatest achievement to this day). If the U.S. government ever comes up with a way to get a passport tattoo, I would would pay an exorbitant fee. I had taken about thirty photos of the trip with my phone before it was stolen in Vietnam. The picture quality on the phone was comparable to a disposable camera in an hookah den, so it's no loss really. I'll probably just post some photos of places we went from google images and say that the people in the background are us.

This trip was quite different than the year before. For one thing, I was mostly traveling with just Adam which had its pros and cons. First of all, there wasn't room for much social loafing. Furthermore, you meet a lot more people when you're traveling in pairs. For whatever reason, in my sophomore year in college, I got hooked on this idea of wanting to go to Finland (which for those of you who aren't geography majors, isn't actually part of Scandinavia) for a semester. I heartily pursued it until I got to the paperwork process. I am seriously regretting my lack of perseverance. I meet a dozen or so Fins on the trip and in my experience they are the salt of the earth. I had quite the opposite experience with the Australians.

The banana cake trail that I mentioned above refers to the most common destinations in southeast Asia for young back packers. One of the most common reasons for travel is self growth and discovery. I strongly believe that traveling to a new country can have a profound effect on personal growth, however, achieving personal growth requires more than just traveling there. Many times the popular thing to do in these destinations is to go snap a bunch of pictures of all the main spots during the day, buy some local clothes to wear, then end the night by going to some foreigner bar to play beer pong and compare the number of stamps that are in ones passport.The cultural experience/self discovery is nice in theory but can be a bit disillusioned, kind of like hippie communes in the 60's. I realize that it's a little high and mighty of me to declare what a cultural experience is for somewhere else, and maybe that's wrong. I can say that the culture in a lot of these places have morphed to fit the comforts of the traveler when it should be the other way around. It isn't to say that these destinations aren't worth visiting, or that there are no foreigners there worth meeting.There wasn't a single spot we regretted visiting, and we meet at least one great person in every place we went.

Another difference about traveling small, is that it is easier to travel around. Getting two people to decide on what to do and is remarkably easier than five. Adam and I didn't spend more than four days at any one spot, which means we got to see a lot more.The downside of traveling with fewer people is that your going to pay more. Bookings for anything become cheaper the more people you have, and there's a lot of strength in numbers when it comes to haggling a taxi, especially in the end when you divide the cost.

Ok that's it for now, I'm planning on writing about each place individually and I'll try to post a blog about once every four days.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

FALLing back into China

Long time, no blog. Sorry everyone for the complete lack of communication. I'd like to blame it on the busier school semester or the continual malfunctions of my computer, but it really comes down to me not being overly motivated to write. Tis the season of giving though, so I'll wrap up the rest of 2013 and give to you the present.

It's been a strange last half year. My life has undergone considerable changes, but my daily routines have never been so consistent.This year, I returned back to Rong Chang in September with my long time friend and former college room mate Adam Van Atta. So far, its been awesome. My spoken Chinese has made a great leap forward (in a good way) as well as my teaching abilities.

September:

It took a while for my stomach to readjust to the abundance of oil used in Chinese cooking, but after a weeks worth of welcome back feasts, it has returned to its iron clad ways. Our classes started before the Chinese National Holiday this year, so September wasn't as much as idle as the year before. Once again I had the students select English names, my favorites were, Tryandomyr (Try-en-doe-mirror)and Shmely. At the end of the month we went to Chong Qing for a gathering of all foreign teachers. There I had an opportunity to meet the mayor of Chong Qing, but the allure of the peking duck and open wine bar were much more appealing. Later that night,we stumbled across a moderately famous European band called the "Red Hot Chili Pipers" (they play cover songs on bag pipes). There's more to the story, but the way everyone remembers it is entirely different.

October:

Besides sleeping, I spend most my time in Adam's apartment. I have my own, but it's colder, doesn't have wifi, or as nice of bathroom. In October, our apartment seemed like the model home from Arrested Development. The apartments are very spacious and accommodating, but the pig's house that was built of straw might have more structural reliability. If you're familiar with Adam or I's living habits, you can probably envision the state of our apartment. To say we were living in a rat's nest would have be a fit metaphor until it became quite literal when a rat pack (not the musical group)took up lodging. For several weeks these ratatas were able to live like kings (watch any theatrical performance of the Nutcracker for an accurate description of how they dress and their size). Luckily, the primal hunter instinct in Adam came out one night and he was able to kill one by harpooning it with the end of an umbrella.

November:

My students this semester had a much higher attendance rate in comparison to last year .Although the class sizes never really stayed consistent. This turned into a huge problem when we were asked to have our students put on an English performance. For the performance Adam and I had our students break into groups to create parodies of famous fairy tales. Our instructions were to change the stories to make them fit modern day China. Group skits are very hard to choreograph when on average only two of the six students in a group come to class. Upon learning that the entire English faculty would be in attendance at the performance it was no more Mr. nice teacher. Drastic times, call for drastic measures so I flat out lied by telling the students that if this performance didn't work, Adam and I would be sent back home before Christmas.The entire event ran perfectly parallel to the book, "the Worst Christmas Pageant Ever" where everyone was expecting an inevitable failure, but somehow at the last minute, through a possible divine intervention, everything turned out exceedingly well. Unbeknownst to us beforehand, all the students got paid after performance, and Adam and I also got a bonus for putting it on. We were riding a remarkable high that night from the feeling of accomplish, the relief of it all being over, and the excessive sugar from the 7 or 8 juices each group demanded to buy us with their prize money.

December:
The insufferable cold which I really harped about last year has thankfully come late. It's gotten much colder this last week but nothing to complain about since I can still wiggle my toes.The Chinese hate being exposed in unflattering journalism, which seems to be the only kind of reporting one finds about China.China isn't perfect, but probably what you read/hear about it, doesn't paint a complete picture.That being said, I am hesitant to write about a highly memorable event that happened early this month in fear of giving you the wrong impression of Chinese people.

One night, Adam, our friend He Kai (Hank), and I decided to check out a new bar in town. Our usual bar, Heaven and Hell, has been having some bizarre business hours, and was closed that night. The first hour was a blast. Everyone in the bar was buying us drinks and being overly friendly. Later on, when most the people had left, there was a guy still sitting at our table lamenting some sad Chinese song into a microphone. Suddenly a guy burst through the door and grabbed the guy with the microphone's hair and began dragging him out of the bar. Now I had no idea behind the cause of his vendetta, maybe he broke omerta or was a heinous criminal that didn't receive proper justice, but by universal principle, you don't pull a man by the hair (unless your a professional wrestler in the entertainment business).I sprang up from my chair before I could think about whether or not I should meddle I'm someone else's affairs.Turns out there was another guy outside the bar, and they both started kicking the man. Before the inhibitors of the bystander effect could sink in, I charged the scene and pushed the first guy off then yanked the second guy away while he was in the midst of aiming a dirty kick at the hapless man. It sounds much more heroic then it actually was. The guys were the stereotypical 5 foot nothing Asian. Anyhow the second guy turned to give me a punch, saw that I was a foreigner then decided not to.I don't know if there is such a thing as a hate crime in China, but punching a foreigner I imagine, would be considered incredibly taboo.The guy sluffed off like a dejected Charlie Brown. It was probably one of the best deeds I've ever done, but it was probably for naught. For the beaten man, idiotically returned back to the bar to finish singing his sad song. The manager of the bar thanked me profusely then informed us we needed to buy 7 more beers to meet the 168 yuan minimum. We were not happy with this arrangement so we took the seven beers for the road and got the hell out of dodge.

I'd just like to emphasis, that this was an anomaly and the first time I have witnessed a violent altercation of any kind while in China.

Last week, we were invited into the inner circle of Rong Chang's glitterati.We were wined and dined with some government officials at the nicest hotel I've ever stepped foot in.The hotel had an Olympic size heated swimming pool. I'm not a very strong swimmer, my usual goal while I'm in the water is just to keep afloat. While we were in the pool, Adam and I kept getting challenged by 40+ year old men to race the length of the pool. I'm pretty sure I drank the recommended amount of water a person should have each day in those 15 minutes racing. The hotel also has a health spa with ever imaginable amenity and a full gym. Needless to say, it is no place Adam and I belong, but somehow we are now club card carrying members. Unfortunately, it's too far away to frequently visit, but we certainly will be returning.

Last year, our school built a jumbotron that I thought was completely asinine. This years construction project is tenfold the absurdity. I don't know who came up with the design or who signed off on it,but right now our school is currently building an 80-foot fake mountain made of chicken wire and  plaster.

If you are reading this, I am sure that at one point, you have done some sort of unrecpricated favor for me. Maybe I've crashed at your house, had my way with your fridge, had you drive me way out of your way, damaged borrowed property, etc. There's even a chance that I may even be wearing a article of your clothing right now. I've been accurately described as a friend with no benefits. Well, I'm now at a point in my life where I'd love to repay all of you. If any of you have the time or means to make it out to China I can promise to make it worth your while. I can even help out with some of the financial burdens of airfare. I don't know what the future holds for me yet, but I'd love an opportunity to play host (for once in my life) while I can here in China.   

Tomorrow, we will embark upon another long journey. Our ridiculous 70 day paid vacation will be spent in Bali, Vietnam, and Thailand. I'll try to blog about these IF we make it back.