Just like any other country that medals well in the Olympics, China requires that an emigrant worker must obtain a special visa before being permitted into the country. The visa, or Z visa as the Chicago Chinese Consulate classifies it, is Zee Visa that I've been waiting for fore 4 weeks. Now waiting is a particular skill (you need to copy everyone order down correctly and make sure none of your fingers touch the drinking rim of a glass) that I lack completely, however after receiving the news on that fretful August 17th, waiting seemed indefinitely better.
Formalities have never been my strong suit, in fact I don't even have a suit to be formal in. Apparently my visa application hadn't even been accepted do to the fact the I was missing a critical requirement. Neither Kassy nor I had the official invitation letter to work in China that was still in the confines of a mail room somewhere between here and China. Furtherless, because Kassy's passport is from Montana, which made her residency out of the jurisdiction for the Chicago consulate. By the most kafkaeasque reasoning, her forms would have to go to Washington DC.
This was worser news for the bears then Urlacher being sidelined or that Billy Bob Thorton was going to remake the classic and play lead role. The China prospect was looking slim, there was weeks worth of bureaucracy work to be done and less then 8 days to do it. Ironically my family and I decided to go get Chinese food to ease the tense situation. Matters went from bad to disastrous when later I realized my trip insurance didn't ensure anything at all, and I could not reschedule my flight. Analysis on the ballistic report would reveal that I was quite irate. It looked like my Chinese misfortune was going to cost a bundle, oooh how the cookie crumbles.
Some genius schemes and loopholes were conceived then immediately squelched. The consulate was the house (of flying daggers that cut me every step of the way) that always wins. If I ever come across a bogart it will look very close to this (go to google images and type in Chinese embassy policies).
Despair, anger, anxiety, grief (not the charlie brown good kindof), and discouragement that had been swarming me finally overpowered me until I felt something much worse: defeat. Dear Reader, here is the point of the story where there should still be 14 foot prints in the sand, but instead there's only 12. It is from this moment forth that my adopted family, the Murrans carried me.
The continual presence of those detrimental emotions that have plagued/plaqued (if you want to get into my trip to the dentist) me over the last week made me insufferable to be around. Misery loves compan(ie Enron). It also loves frequent baths, slamming doors, being bratty, and using profane language. My deepest apologies to any one who has spent any time with me last week.
The unsung heroes of this quest are Mary Angela Curran and Alex Joseph who each did more work visa work individually then what I have done collectively. Its been a nauseating week filled with more heirs (pronounce as errors) then the board game 1313 Dead End Drive. Lucky for me, I got another chance to play the waiting game which was very tolling, particularly on the surface area of my cuticles. A couple days pass, Yada yada, the picture below is nothing short of a miracle.
With that (zee visa), I'm off to china tomorrow.
To buy the rights to this movie production, email me at 15inabucket@gmail.com. This is my new email account.
Directors notes: I've always boldly felt that negative emotions should always be italicized to underline the feeling of the words. My teachers have always informed that it is bad character to do so.
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